Self-Introduction

Dear Professor Brad,
I would like to take this opportunity to introduce myself to you. My name is Germain Yee and I am  one of your student. I graduated with Diploma in Telematics and Media Technology (TMT) in Nanyang Polytechnic. During the 3 years in TMT, I have gained interested in this trade as it is blooming in our current industry.

The reason why i decided to further pursue my degree in Telematics is because of all the hard and software. What really caught my attention is the driver-less car. I have dreamt of owning a car that is driven by no one, more like an automated vehicle. Furthermore, our world is progressing very quickly , hence in our rapidly progressing society, being able to contribute to the developments of a driverless car would definitely help me to leave an impact on the world

I'm a big fan of soccer. During the weekends, I would watch the English Premier League with my dad. For my strengths, I'm able to work with anyone that is tasked to me as I feel that I possess the trait of an empathy person. I'm also a person that despite other's who has lack of empathy. I just cannot see someone being bullied or is suffering inside alone. That could be my weakness and strength at the same time.

By the end of my degree, I hope that i could change into a person who is more open-minded and will be able to take in more feedback from the rest of my course mates. I also hope that i will be able to be more vocal after this module as everyone knows that great communication skill is a key factor to being successful. 

Yours Sincerely,

Germain Yee

Comments

  1. Brad BlackstoneSeptember 27, 2019 at 10:39 PM

    Dear Germain,

    Thank you for this concise, fairly informative letter. You address most of the elements of the assignment and give us readers a basic indicator of who you are. In particular, you illustrate your interest in AVs and the griowth of telematics as a field. At the same time, you throw in info on your hobby, and then you also give some info on your comm skills strength of being empathetic. That being said, not everything flows smoothly (i.e., the hobby statement seems like just a quick addition) and there are some language difficulties, listed here:

    1. word forms/phrasing
    -- I am one of your student. > (one of many)
    -- During..., I have gained interested > (wrong word form/wrong tense)
    -- in this trade as it is blooming in our current industry. > (which trade? which industry?)
    -- an empathy person > (wrong word form)

    2. sentence structure
    -- Furthermore, our world is progressing very quickly , hence in our rapidly progressing society, being able to contribute to the developments of a driverless car would definitely help me to leave an impact on the world > (comma splice/missing full stops)
    Furthermore, our world is progressing very quickly. Hence ,in our rapidly progressing society, being able to contribute to the developments of a driverless car would definitely help me to leave an impact on the world. OR
    Furthermore, because our world is progressing very quickly, being able to contribute to the developments of a driverless car would definitely help me to have an impact.
    -- I'm also a person that despite other's who has lack of empathy. > ?
    -- I just cannot see someone being bullied or is suffering inside alone. > (lack of parallel structure)

    3. Lack of a transition into paragraph #3.

    A revision will help you begin the recursive process in addressing writing this term.

    I look forward to learning more about you this term.

    Cheers,

    Brad

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Germain YeeOctober 14, 2019 at 9:14 PM

      Dear Prof Brad,

      Thank you for taking time off your busy schedule to read and comment on my post. I’ll take some time to re-edit my post with all the pointers you have highlighted.

      Cheers,
      Germain

      Delete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Reflection

It has been a great three months of learning to improve my communication skills. Looking back at the goals that were set earlier, I became more vocalize. I am not afraid to share my opinion with everyone. The most memorable moment was during the presentation. This was the first time that I was stuck and loss of words in front of my audience. Instead, this incident has helped me to understand how does it feel to be in such a position. It allows me to keep my calm under tremendous pressure. I believed this incident will build my confidence for the upcoming presentation. It was ashamed that my team didn't have the opportunity to present for the showcase. I do enjoy the atmosphere of the showcasing from my fellow course mates. Being an audience wasn't really an easy task as we need to try to understand what are the teams are trying to pitch to us. The best thing about this showcase were the judges. Even though I wasn't presenting, I can feel the adrenaline in each member of t...
Read more

Product summary draft on GPS Insight

GPS Insight (2019) states that their trailer tracking services helps to resolve trailer management issues, allowing users to bring down risk and costs, which in turn helps to increase income. This is done not only through location tracking, but also finding an answer to business problems for true fleet intelligence. This program's trailer tracking services allow users to not only locate, track and identify their different trailers, but also monitor the temperature of the trailers and the suitability of trailers for a certain job. GPS Insight's offers a wide range of fleet solutions to add into trailers to locate it easily. GPS Insight is trying to make use of telematics to find solutions for up and running issues and to inspect the fleets from a more comprehensive view. Their focal point is to take charge in enhancing planning and work rate to cherish an elaborated alliance from their source in terms of aid, coaching and standard for their fleets. Edited on 1 October 2019 ...
Read more